Sunday, January 6, 2008



Heureux qui, comme Ulysse, a fait un beau voyage

Heureux qui, comme Ulysse, a fait un beau voyage,
Ou comme cestuy-là qui conquit la toison,
Et puis est retourné, plein d'usage et raison,
Vivre entre ses parents le reste de son âge !

Quand reverrai-je, hélas, de mon petit village
Fumer la cheminée, et en quelle saison
Reverrai-je le clos de ma pauvre maison,
Qui m'est une province, et beaucoup davantage ?

Plus me plaît le séjour qu'ont bâti mes aïeux,
Que des palais Romains le front audacieux,
Plus que le marbre dur me plaît l'ardoise fine :

Plus mon Loir gaulois, que le Tibre latin,
Plus mon petit Liré, que le mont Palatin,
Et plus que l'air marin la doulceur angevine.

Joachim du Bellay



What's worst of all? A root canal from a rural dentist? Or coming off painkillers when you are a former heroin user? Even a root canal without Novocaine doesn't compare, since the root canal will be over in a matter of hours, and withdrawals can take a day, or two, or three. The root canal is all in that one place. Withdrawals are all over your body, aching, hurting, stabbing, throbbing, slamming, pulling--and then in your head, with thoughts uncontrollably going here and there and to hell and all kinds of dangerous thoughts. The sweating, the freezing, the shakes, it's an experience that you don't know until you've been there. And the more you tolerated, the worse it is to get off.

Pray for those who are having the courage--the moral courage--to get off, no matter what the withdrawal pains are.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

The second or third day of the rest of my life, today. The first day was Monday, New Years Eve. It was lovely. Partied until nearly midnight with two of my granddaughters and their grandmother (my wife) The second day of the rest of my life didn’t count—it was a holiday. If I had been still salaried in my previous employment it would have been a paid annual leave (paid holiday). So today was the second day of normality according to the new normalcy. And perhaps indicative of the way things are now and will be for the future, busy. Well, perhaps that is a relative term at this point. I got up when I woke up—or rather when I woke up again and decided that staying in bed any further was counterproductive, because the pain of lying like that any more went beyond the pain of getting up and dealing with woozy/queasy. Then I ate something—a peanut butter and banana sandwich with mayonnaise and a touch of salt. I got just a hair bit too much salt on it this time. And Fresca and mango nectar to swallow the one aspirine a day (neurologist’s orders), and the two fiber pills a day (G/I’s orders). Then sat for a while until I got my sea-legs under me (not that I’ve been on a boat for many years—but spent a week crossing the North Atlantic in the gales of mid-winter half a lifetime ago, on the Queen Elizabeth, with 90-ft waves…do you call those waves, or walls???). Then did some paperwork, Internet work, and housework. Then went downtown to take care of financial matters with the financial people. Then came home to frozen dinner crap, but watched a fine film rented from the local movie purveyor as we ate the little frozen-reheated mush and had a thawed piece of lemon meringue/plastic pie.

Does aspirine have an e at the end? It does in French.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008


Between loquacious and laconic, I would hope to be accused of being laconic. KYDMS. And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity…. But the tongue can no man tame. I spent so many hundreds of hours in solipsistic silence long ago that I began to, or realized that I love it. It has always been hard for me to express myself orally. But then, after marriage and working with true friends, I began to talk—perhaps too much. I can carry on, given a subject of interest and an appreciative audience. But, sinking back into obscurity, and left alone, I can very easily be silent. As I have said over the years, “Left alone, I would a solipsist be.”

The new year is upon us.
Now what?

Saturday, December 29, 2007

For whom the Bell Tolls
John Donne


From "Devotions upon Emergent Occasions" (1623), XVII: Nunc Lento Sonitu Dicunt, Morieris - "Now, this bell tolling softly for another, says to me: Thou must

PERCHANCE he for whom this bell tolls may be so ill, as that he knows not it tolls for him; and perchance I may think myself so much better than I am, as that they who are about me, and see my state, may have caused it to toll for me, and I know not that.
The church is Catholic, universal, so are all her actions; all that she does belongs to all.
When she baptizes a child, that action concerns me; for that child is thereby connected to that body which is my head too, and ingrafted into that body whereof I am a member.
And when she buries a man, that action concerns me: all mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated; God employs several translators; some pieces are translated by age, some by sickness, some by war, some by justice; but God's hand is in every translation, and his hand shall bind up all our scattered leaves again for that library where every book shall lie open to one another.
As therefore the bell that rings to a sermon calls not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come, so this bell calls us all; but how much more me, who am brought so near the door by this sickness.
There was a contention as far as a suit (in which both piety and dignity, religion and estimation, were mingled), which of the religious orders should ring to prayers first in the morning; and it was determined, that they should ring first that rose earliest.
If we understand aright the dignity of this bell that tolls for our evening prayer, we would be glad to make it ours by rising early, in that application, that it might be ours as well as his, whose indeed it is.
The bell doth toll for him that thinks it doth; and though it intermit again, yet from that minute that this occasion wrought upon him, he is united to God.
Who casts not up his eye to the sun when it rises? but who takes off his eye from a comet when that breaks out? Who bends not his ear to any bell which upon any occasion rings? but who can remove it from that bell which is passing a piece of himself out of this world? No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
Neither can we call this a begging of misery, or a borrowing of misery, as though we were not miserable enough of ourselves, but must fetch in more from the next house, in taking upon us the misery of our neighbours.
Truly it were an excusable covetousness if we did, for affliction is a treasure, and scarce any man hath enough of it.
No man hath affliction enough that is not matured and ripened by it, and made fit for God by that affliction.
If a man carry treasure in bullion, or in a wedge of gold, and have none coined into current money, his treasure will not defray him as he travels.
Tribulation is treasure in the nature of it, but it is not current money in the use of it, except we get nearer and nearer our home, heaven, by it.
Another man may be sick too, and sick to death, and this affliction may lie in his bowels, as gold in a mine, and be of no use to him; but this bell, that tells me of his affliction, digs out and applies that gold to me: if by this consideration of another's danger I take mine own into contemplation, and so secure myself, by making my recourse to my God, who is our only security.

John Donne (rhymes with gun) wrote this when he was Dean of St Paul's Cathedral in London. He was a mystic Christian poet, or sometimes maybe just a mystic poet; but I think this is one of the most poetic things ever written by a seventeenth century Anglican cleric who preached to the King.

Think about what it means. Forget about Hemingway for now. Why does he say no man is an island? What island is he talking about? Think about it. I guess everybody knows that in former times, simpler times, the church bells tolled--they rang slowly, evenly, mournfully--whenever somebody had just died. People would stop their labors and remove their hats, and bow their heads, all the time wondering who had just died. Maybe somebody they sort of knew.

But really, whom does the bell toll for?

Wednesday, December 26, 2007




Robert A. Heinlein

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, pitch manure, solve equations, analyze a new problem, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

(Notebooks of Lazarus Long)

Brigham Young

Shall I sit down and read the Bible, the Book of Mormon, and the Book of Covenants all the time?” says one. Yes, if you please, and when you have done, you may be nothing but a sectarian after all. It is your duty to study to know everything upon the face of the earth, in addition to reading those books. We should not only study good, and its effects upon our race, but also evil, and its consequences….

And inasmuch as the Lord Almighty has designed us to know all that is in the earth, both the good and the evil, and to learn not only what is in heaven, but what is in hell, you need not expect ever to get through learning. Though I mean to learn all that is in heaven, earth, and hell, do I need to commit iniquity to do it? No. If I were to go into the bowels of hell to find out what is there, that does not make it necessary that I should commit one evil, or blaspheme in any way the name of my Maker.

6 February 1853

Journal of Discourses, 2:93-94

✠

Insects. People who will not go out fishing for ideas. People who are content with what they grew up with, and don’t want to find out about anything else. People who sit on recliner chairs with greasy armrests, whose greatest technical achievement is mastery of the TV remote control and the game box thingies. Who listen to the nightly news for 24 minutes—unless you count the commercials as news, then it’s 30—and that’s all they want to know about the world. “Tiger kills man…chewed off arm last year.” That’s all they need to know about the world. And they believe the global warming hoax, and think Algore deserved the Nobel. (Good lord, these people run the risk of getting up one day and going down to the precinct to vote! Nahh. Not to worry. They never registered.)

Insects. People who are geniuses at math or some quantitative area, techies, gonna be rich someday off of computer programs or new materials invented in a lab, but have not a clue who Charles Dickens is, or Baudelaire, or Goethe, or Pushkin. People who are great at sales or playing the stock market, sons of daytraders, who are going to be rich but ignorant. And so many already are. Rich. And ignorant. Who go see a movie that is meant to propagandize them into a new socialist world, where these poor ignoramuses will be the drones—until the system collapses, as all socialist systems collapse.

Insects.

Sunday, December 23, 2007



Christmas

I’ve heard that Charles Dickens pretty much made Christmas into a big deal with his A Christmas Carol. I’ve read history that Christmas was observed, but not with such fête and frolic and festivity and in fact religiosity until his story got published and read all over the place. He shortened his story so he could give public readings, and it’s here: http://gaslight.mtroyal.ab.ca/carol.htm