It said on the package to microwave on HIGH for 5 minutes. So I did. And when the microwave beeped, and the time was up, I thought, five minutes of my life have just passed away. How many more five-minute segments do I have?

I want to go out in style, and when people file by the mortal coil, they will have an unexpressed thought go through their minds: sprezzatura! And smile and move on, and I hope there are refreshments.

I want to go like the old man who went peacefully, with a smile on his face--not screaming and yelling like the people in the car he was driving.

That's a joke. Maybe a cruel joke.